Guest Post from Brian J. Hayes

The best and worst of Columbia's Cluster D, respectively: Brian Hayes and me

Note: Brian’s text is indented below in grey.

Several weeks ago, Columbia Business School hosted a series of auctions to support the school’s Social Enterprise Program.  Some students donated ethnic cooking lessons, others offered tee times at exclusive golf courses, and a few even invited winning bidders to their beach homes or ski cabins.  However, lacking anything of real value to donate, I was pressured to jokingly add a “guest blog post” on to the list of auction items.

Whoa, that was a mistake.

By the time the dust settled, the right to embarrass me on my own website was the highest selling item, and Brian Hayes, the person with the most dirt on me in the entire room, had won the auction.  Oh crap.

Brian is one of the smartest people I know and I actually lost some sleep recently fretting over how he would skewer me with his 250 words.  However, somewhere in my worry I lost sight of the fact that Brian is the classiest of class acts.  Below is his unedited guest blog post, and I am very appreciative of his friendship and camaraderie over the past two years.  I’m also thrilled he’s moving to the West Coast after graduation.  Brian, I’ll save you a spot in line at the DMV to get our California driver’s licenses.

What New York loses on May 31st, by Brian J. Hayes


One of its most eligible bachelors. A Hoya Hoops Hysteric. Cluster D’s social glue. Business school’s funniest Wadhwa impression. The middleman in the picnic table triumvirate. Sarah McCue’s biggest competition. The instigator of all nights that go past 4am. The popularizer of the bow tie down look. A cluster cup representative with the right level of urgency and competitiveness for his constituency. One of the only non-bandwagon San Francisco Giants fans. A guy with a brilliant knack for having a video camera out at the right time. The President of the Boozy Book Club. A guy who can pull off seersucker in March. A non-rugby-playing Rugby Happy Hour devotee. Half of the Katzaghan beer pong team. One of the few guys who left Oktoberfest with his dignity. A “Step Brothers” aficionado. A wine class veteran. The creator of the “Dudes’ Baby Shower” concept. A self-proclaimed dance floor dominator. A man secure enough in his masculinity to rock pink pants. A brilliant venture capital mind. A proud wearer of all three D-shirts. A runner, cyclist, and swimmer. The leader of the “Blocked Out” PLS quartet. A founding member of the Steak Club. A future member of the Columbia Business School Board of Trustees. The most gracious party host ever. A Social Enterprise auction all-star. The holder of an inordinate number of reservations to top-notch restaurants. The inventor and most enthusiastic participant of Dude’s Night.

A true friend.

Good luck Mike Katz! Stay in touch!

By the way, Brian was elected by the members of the Class of 2011 to give the final speech at graduation.  The video of his remarks aren’t yet available online, but I will post them as soon as possible.  No hyperbole: it was the best commencement speech I have ever heard.

  • Marissa Campise

    u00a0love this. katz is numero uno

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